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Sometimes I Don’t Want To Go To Heaven: Here Are My Reasons Why

  • August 8, 2018
  • Alroy Ndhlovu
8 min read

There’s a lot more but to top it off I’m reminded that in order to get to heaven I can expect to suffer a lot of persecution. I already feel like saying “NO THANK YOU”!

Borrowing some of the words of Agent Coulson from Marvel Agents of Shield, heaven must be “a magical place”. Okay, maybe not magical because I am certain everything there was created intentionally using God’s power, wisdom and His word, and not with a wand or some weird incantations.

But heaven really is a phenomenal place. The one source that really makes this clear is the Bible and besides you can expect God’s crib to be super dope since He owns everything.
However, there are times when heaven is not a place I want to be in. Here are some of my reasons, bear with me a little:

1: The Standard Is Way Too High

There’s a song that goes like, “the price is way to high you need to cut it”. It’s a catchy tune. I haven’t heard the whole song actually, but I like that little part. When I think about heaven that is exactly what I feel.

I am such a sinner. I haven’t always seen myself this way but ever since God has opened up my eyes to the depths of my wickedness and something of the height of His righteousness, gosh, I just don’t cut it for heaven.

With scriptures like Revelation 21:27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9, I am easily disqualified because I am many of those things.

So, let me put it this way, I believe heavens standard is reachable and it isn’t too high, no, but I am inaccessibly low and outside of God enabling, His standards are just too high for me.

This is reason one, but bear with me, it gets deeper.

“There’s a lot more but to top it off I’m reminded that in order to get to heaven I can expect to suffer a lot of persecution.”

2: Heaven Will Probably Piss Me Off Right Now

Yes, I said that!

I am sure someone is like, “that lightning strike will come down any minute now”. I’d think the same, haha, that is how my mind works most of the time- so dramatic.

Let me explain what I mean.

Again, the Bible says in Romans 8:5-7 that our carnal natures are naturally at war with our spiritual natures.

I imagine being in heaven as messed up as I am and everybody is just happy clappy. Some times I will want to just say “shut up” or maybe there is some dude who is just so super cool and smooth and I’ll be all envious of him.

Knowing how much of a softy I am it will all probably just happen in my head.

“Us humans, damn, we hurt each other so much.”

What about that neighbor who is always coming to visit you and you just don’t want to be that tight? These seemingly little things, my very temperament may cause problems in heaven.

As you may imagine, there are many things that might just tick me off. I simply am not ready.

3: The Road To Heaven Is A Very Difficult One

I’m going to be honest, I try to avoid as much drama as I can. If I can take a very easy path to somewhere, I will.

I guess its because I feel like I have been through so much in my life that has required enormous amounts of energy and endurance.

I have loved hard. That is super painful. I am sure loving angels is easier. Us humans, damn, we hurt each other so much. The thing about loving is it is a choice and should be done without condition.

Try it and then let’s talk about how painful it is in the comments below.

Loving as hard as you can will turn you into a philosopher.

My relationship with my dad was hard. The relationship I have with myself is tricky. I lost my mum and dad all in a year. Went through a breakup that real broke me before I was rebuilt somewhat. My sister is sick in a way that breaks me. I am not even dealing with it properly.

I’m sure you can see, love is a tricky thing. It always ends up in some hurt. But hey, that is what makes it beautiful.

What am I getting at here?

Loving God is very, very, very, very, very painful. It’s hard.

To love God, you need to love Him enough to hate yourself enough to die daily (1 Corinthians 15:31). You need to put others first before yourself (Luke 6:31).

To love God, I need to talk to Him in prayer everyday like I talk to the closest people around me. I need to trust Him no-matter what happens, to believe that no death, no pain, no persecution, no hunger, no spiritual forces can separate me from His love (Romans 8:31-39).

There’s a lot more but to top it off I’m reminded that in order to get to heaven I can expect to suffer a lot of persecution (Acts 14:22).

I already feel like saying “NO THANK YOU”!

4: I Haven’t Done Enough To Feel Like I Belong There

Yes, I know, we are saved by grace. If you didn’t know- yes, its true.

So, sit back and relax, heaven is yours anyway!

Not!

Even though we are saved by grace there is a work we need to do. The Bible backs this up too. Firstly, we are told that “faith without works is futile” (James 2:14-26). Secondly, the Bible says things like, “a laborer is worthy of his wages” (Luke 10:7).

I don’t know why I am even counting, there are many more examples. What I really mean is beautifully portrayed in the words of Paul:

“I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ — which is far better — but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. Since I am persuaded of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that, because of me, your confidence may grow in Christ Jesus when I come to you again.”- Philippians 1:23-26

Levels!!!

Imagine that! Paul was at that point in his life where He was so confident in how he had fulfilled his life purpose that he was ready for heaven.

He was like, “Ahhgg, I’m conflicted. I could go and be with Jesus now but you know what? I’m going to stay on earth a little longer so I can help ya’ll be where you need to be”.

Damn, isn’t that deep. Being so secure in Christ.

He knew that he was saved by grace, I mean he wrote that (Ephesians 2:8), but he was also confident in the work he did for God and therefore for fellow humanity that he was guaranteed by the Spirit of God of his place in heaven.

Shucks. I am not here yet. I just won’t feel right being in heaven if I have not done all God wants me to do. Even if I had a free ticket and a get out of sin free card, it just wouldn’t feel right.

What would I talk about as Moses, Abraham, Joseph, David, Mary Magdalene, Rahab and the many other people who went before me speak about their walks with God?

I would be so embarrassed and I would definitely feel left out. I do not want to be in heaven after a life of laziness or one without some evangelistic adventure, whatever form it comes in.
My pride won’t let me.

And So The Conclusion Of The Matter Is

Do I love God? Yes! But sometimes I am unwilling and sometimes too weak and tired to live out my love for Him.

You may say it isn’t true love then and I will not disagree, that is why I need Him to work in me so that by the time I rock up those pearly gates my love is right.

I want to be in heaven but I am not yet ready for it now. This is why I need God to work on me so that by the time He comes I am ready to live by all His terms.

I need Him to really do a great work in me so that I am a complete man in every way, fit for heaven.

But more importantly, I can’t leave this earth until I can say stuff as boss as Paul’s words. I also want to be able to choose whether I go or stay for a little while.

I want to live to see God’s whole purpose fulfilled in my life before I drop the mic.

PS: I hope this article was a blessing to you. Remember, if you have something to say, hit me up in the comments below.

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  • God
  • heaven
  • life on earth
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Alroy Ndhlovu

Alroy Ndhlovu is a photographer, video story-teller and digital media specialist amongst other things. First and foremost however is that he is passionate about God, speaking and about telling stories using media. He is also the founder of Unfiltered Christianity.

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Christianity without the filters...

Unfiltered Christianity is for all of those people who are tired of blind religion and all the fakeness. It is for those people who want to live a full, honest and freedom filled life in God. It isn’t a platform to argue theology, there are many platforms and churches for that, but it’s a platform that will provide a space for people to be real, vulnerable and to express themselves- flaws and all.
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